Celebrating a life & providing a healthy space for grief.

If you have just lost someone, you shouldn't have to read a website. Call or text and we'll talk today.

Call or text

Answered the same day, including evenings and weekends. If I can't pick up, leave a message and I'll call straight back. You can also write to [email protected].

Reverend Ryan Irmer in a black preaching robe and white stole.

I will sit with your family first and learn about your loved one, and we will build the service together. I can lead it wherever feels right for your family: a funeral home, a church, or the graveside. I would be honored to help you think through readings, music, and who speaks.

There is no rush in that first conversation, and no cost to having it.

What I can lead

A service that sounds like the person it's for.

A funeral service — at a funeral home, a church, or a graveside.
A committal — at the cemetery, on its own or following a service.
A memorial service — weeks or months later, when everyone can gather.
A celebration of life — wherever it suits, in whatever form fits your family.
A scattering of ashes, or a short blessing at home with only a few people present.

Any family

With a faith, between faiths, or with none at all. Nobody will be preached at, and nothing will be said over your loved one that your family doesn't recognize as true.

I work with any funeral home and any cemetery in the Tri-State Area, and I'm glad to coordinate directly with your director so it's one less call for you to make.

If you're not ready yet

Some families call before a death, when someone is in hospice or the time is close. That's welcome, and it often makes the days afterward easier.

Others call a year later, having never had the service they wanted. That's welcome too. There's no window on this.

What happens next

We talk

Twenty minutes on the phone, or at your kitchen table if you'd rather. You tell me what's happened and what you're hoping for.

I ask about your loved one

Not just the arrangements — who they were. What they were like in a room. What they'd find funny about all this fuss.

I write and lead it

I bring the service together, work with your funeral director, and stand up front on the day. Afterwards I'll send you the words, so you have them.

Arrange a time to talk

If your need is not immediate, pick a half hour below. If it is, please call or text 908-444-6614 instead — you should not have to wait for a calendar.

Calendar not loading? Write to me and we will find a time.

Fees

Services are $300 – $600, which covers our conversations, the written service, travel within the Tri-State Area, and the day itself.

If money is a burden right now, please say so. We will work it out, and it will not change what I do for your family.