The weight a coach carries
When practice starts in the fall, a coach's calendar fills up fast: film, recruiting, meetings, travel, and the long rides home. A coach is expected to be steady for everyone else. Players bring you their worries about playing time, grades, and family. Staff look to you for direction. Administrators and fans look at the record.
I coached basketball for twelve years, from 1999 to 2011, at the high school, community college, and NCAA Division II levels. I remember how rarely anyone asked how I was doing, and how rarely I would have known how to answer.
What gets squeezed out
Most programs take good care of the physical and mental sides of the game. They invest in strength coaches, nutrition, sports psychology, and analytics. The spiritual side, the part of you that asks why you do this and who you are when the season ends, usually gets whatever is left. In season, that is often nothing.
A few signs it's getting squeezed:
- Wins feel like relief instead of joy, and losses follow you home.
- Your sense of worth rises and falls with the standings.
- Prayer, worship, or quiet time drops away until the off-season.
- You feel alone in a building full of people.
None of this means you're doing something wrong. It means you're carrying a lot, and you need a place to set it down.
What spiritual direction offers a coach
Spiritual direction is a confidential, one-on-one conversation about your life with God. You talk about what's really going on, and your director listens intently and asks the questions that help you notice where God is already at work. There is no agenda, no performance review, and no film session. Nothing you share goes back to your athletic director, your staff, or your players.
It isn't therapy, and it isn't another coach. If stress, anxiety, or burnout is affecting your health, a licensed counselor or your doctor is the right first call, and spiritual direction can work alongside that care, never in place of it.
Sessions run about an hour, usually once a month, in person in Long Valley, Watchung, Princeton, or Warren County, NJ, or via Zoom, so they fit around practice and travel.
A five-minute prayer for the ride home
St. Ignatius of Loyola taught a short daily prayer called the Examen. It works well after a game, win or lose:
- Get quiet. Remember that God is with you, right where you are.
- Give thanks. Name one moment from today you're grateful for, on the court or off it.
- Look back. Where did you feel most alive today? Where did you feel drained, or far from God?
- Be honest. Name anything you regret, and let it be forgiven.
- Look ahead. Ask for what you need tomorrow.
Five minutes like this can change how you carry the next game.
Start with a conversation
If you're a coach, or you work alongside one, your first 20-minute conversation is free. We can talk about what you're carrying and whether spiritual direction is a good fit. Athletic departments interested in offering this to their staff can set up a 30-minute call.